You Can Handle It

Holy smokes! I did not realize it had been since July that I had posted. There really wasn’t much going on until about two weeks ago. Reo and I celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary. How bittersweet that was. Especially since we have been dealing with infertility since right after our wedding. FIVE years! That’s a long time. Longer than some people’s whole relationship! Ha!

After that we got our calves sold and shipped. We are so thankful that we had calves make weight and had enough to fill the truck. We were worried about making weight with how dry and dusty things were this summer.

Tomorrow (10/11) is my 30^th birthday. I can’t really wrap my head around that. Growing up I thought I would have at least five kids by now LOL!

Finally, we are preparing to go back to Colorado to transfer some embryos. I think we have decided to transfer two. Yes, that does mean if both take, we will be having twins. That honestly gives me a little bit of anxiety to think about. But I also want to give us the best chance to have at least one baby out of this thing. If we were blessed with two that would be amazing! Hopefully they turn out like me and not like Reo… 😉 Just kidding! Could you imagine us having two little red heads running around?

I wasn’t prepared for the emotions that would come flooding in doing this again. Just thinking about the timeline since we started the IVF journey. It has been a year since our first egg retrieval. If our first transfer would have stuck, we would have a baby by now. So many emotions. Thinking about going through the emotions and the waiting period has made me a little bit anxious and nervous. But I am so confident that we are in the right place and it’s the right time.

I have been on a journey to get closer to God. Growing up Catholic I never read the bible. I decided after all the things that happened with Charlie Kirk and what has been happening in our country. I realized that I had let my relationship with God be really laxed. I realized that through all these the past five years that I had been mad at God. I had been sad that he would let this happen to good people like Reo and I but turn around and let people that don’t even want kids or that have addiction problems have babies. But not us. In the past few weeks of doing my bible study I have realized God wasn’t punishing us. He was giving us a battle that he knew we could handle.

Now, the lesson learned here is that if you believe in God or not. The battle that you are going through was meant for you. You were meant for that battle. I am so glad that I have friends that I do. That I always have my family and my husband to keep me grounded and to fight these battles with me.

Thanks for listening to my ted talk!

Love,

Morgan